samedi, avril 15, 2006

IN MEMORIAM


Il y a six ans aujourd'hui, mon conjoint Jacques, le papa de Gene, décédait d'une crise cardiaque. Du jour au lendemain, je me suis retrouvée veuve avec une petite fille de cinq ans et demi. Je veux aujourd'hui rendre hommage à ce tendre compagnon de vie et ce père généreux et attentionné.

Un vendredi soir de 1987, le 18 septembre plus précisément, se présente à la librairie de mon père un homme venu pour vendre deux livres. Il est charmant, nous parlons jusqu'à la fermeture... ce fut le coup de foudre. Les douze années et demi passées avec lui furent les plus heureuses de ma vie.


Il avait appris très jeune l'importance des petites choses et la valeur des relations humaines car il avait perdu son père alors qu'il avait seulement 15 ans. Cela avait fait de lui un être profondément humain: c'était un homme de coeur.

Il n'était pas du genre qui attend de se faire servir, au contraire! Il était serviable, attentionné, prévoyant! Je me plaisais à dire que Jacques avait souvent répondu à un de mes besoins avant même que j'aie eu le temps de formuler ma demande.


Il adorait faire de la bicyclette! Son Peugeot blanc 1967, il l'avait complètement démonté, nettoyé, graissé, puis remonté. C'était un perfectionniste! Exigeant envers lui-même autant qu'envers les autres, ce qui pouvait paraître comme un défaut, il devenait totalement intransigeant face à l'injustice humaine. Il aimait tout ce qui touche aux questions de droit et aurait d'ailleurs fait un très bon avocat. La vie l'a cependant dirigé vers un autre métier, celui d'assistance à domicile (soins aux personnes malades ou âgées, qui demeurent soit à domicile ou dans un centre). C'était un aidant!


Un jour, à la radio, nous entendons qu'on recherche des barbus pour une télésérie. Il correspond parfaitement à la description et est engagé comme figurant. Sur la photo, vous le voyez avec le costume début 1900 (fabrication récente d'Angleterre, s.v.p.), ... mignon n'est-ce pas? Deux jours de tournages pour quelques apparitions de deux ou trois secondes chacune, mais quelle expérience!

Débrouillard, bricoleur, il pouvait réparer presque tout (il aimait les vieux radios) et réussissait à dénicher la pièce manquante, dut-il faire 150 téléphones pour la trouver! Et lorsqu'un parent ou ami lui signifiait un besoin ou un désir, il pouvait soulever des montagnes afin de trouver l'objet ou le service en question. Organisé, il s'était même fait un cahier dans lequel il classait toutes les adresses et numéros de téléphones qu'il avait réussi à dénicher.

Les personnes ayant expérimentés la mort d'un proche vous diront souvent qu'ils restent en contact grâce, entre autres, à ce qu'on pourraît appeler un "messager". Jacques aimait les oiseaux, et ceux-ci ont souvent fait office de messagers entre lui et moi. Les papillons aussi. Ces phénomènes sont difficiles à expliquer, mais lorsqu'ils arrivent, ont toujours un sens particulier à nos yeux. Comme le Morpho bleu venu se déposer dans mon cou... (envoi du 11 mars dernier).

Six ans déjà que Jacques est mort, mais il continue à vivre dans nos coeurs et y restera à tout jamais.



AND NOW, IN ENGLISH:
Six years ago, my sweetheart Jacques, the father of Gene, deceased from a heart attack. Suddenly, I found myself a widow, with a five year and a half little girl. Today, I would like to give a tribute to that tender companion of life, that generous and thoughtful father.

A Friday night of 1987, September 18th more precisely, went to the bookshop of my father a man that wanted to sale two books. He is totally charming, we talk until the closing of the bookshop... it was love at first sight! The following twelve years and a half with him were the most happy ones of my life.

He had learn at a very young age the importance of little things and the value of human relations, because his father died when he was only fifteen. For that reason, he became a profondly humane soul: he was a well-hearthed man.

He was not the kind of man to be awaiting for service, at the contrary! He was helpful, thoughtful and considerate! I use to say that most of the time, Jacques had answer to one of my needs even before I had time to formulate it.

He loved to go ride a bicycle! His '67 white Peugeot, he had completely take it to pieces, cleaned it, greased it, and reassemble again. He was a perfectionnist! Demanding toward himself as much as toward the others, that could have been taken as a shortcoming, he became totally intolerant facing human injustice. He loved everything that was concerning the laws, and he could have done a very good lawyer. But life wanted something else from him, and he was taking care of persons who were sick or just old, at home or in an old people's home. He was a helpful person!

One day, on the radio, we heard that they were looking for bearded man for a TV serie. Jacques has the perfect correspondance to the description and was engaged as a walk-on actor. On the second picture above, you see him wearing a beautiful 1900 costume (a recent made from England, my dear)... isn't he cute? Two days of shooting for just some seeing of him, two or three seconds each, but what a great experience!

Ingenious, handyman, he was able to repare almost everything (and he loved old radios) and to find the missing part, even if he had to make 150 phone calls to find it! And when a relative or a friend was asking for something, he could have raised the mountains to find the object or the service they wanted. Well organized, he even had a book in wich he classified all the addresses and phone numbers that he could have find.

People who had lived the death of a beloved one will often tell you that they keep in contact, among other, with what we could call a "messenger". Jacques loved birds, and those have often done the job of a messenger between him and me. Butterflies too. Those phenomenon are not easy to explain, but when they happens, they always have a particular meaning to us. Like the Blue Morpho that came on my neck... (post of March 11).

Six years already that Jacques is dead, but he is still living in our hearts and will stay there forever.

18 commentaires:

Mei Shile a dit...

Je ne sais pas quoi dire. Une minute de silence? Mais juste par ces mots je viens de la briser.

Clo a dit...

mei shile: Comme on dit, c'est l'intention qui compte! Merci pour cette gentille pensée. :O)

Anonyme a dit...

SALUT JACQUES.
La première fois que je t'ai rencontré, j'ai tout de suite
vu en toi un être d'exception.
Merci d'avoir aimer autant nos
chères CLO et GENE..............
Chère CLO, la dernière photo
est si belle!!! Que de la JOIE!!!!
SALUT JACQUES, JE T'AIME.
^

merlinprincesse a dit...

Moi aussi, comme tante Rita, je trouve que cette dernière photo est superbe! Vous êtes tellement beaux! Et heureux!!!! Je te souhaite de retrouver un tel bonheur! :)

Calvin a dit...

What a cool looking fellow! You guys looks so cute! Happy times!

Ginnie Hart a dit...

I am profoundly touched by your tribute to this man, dear Clo! Maybe more I am touched by your spirit of love and acceptance of what most would see as a tragedy. That last photo of you and Jacques together is absolutely priceless. What a treasure--all of it. Thank you. Thank you.

Clo a dit...

ritadaphné: Merci beaucoup tante Rita! Ton commentaire me touche beaucoup. Il est plein de vie! Nous t'envoyons pleins de bises!

merlinprincesse: Merci! Et moi aussi je te souhaite un grand bonheur d'amour!

calvin: Thank you, I appreciate! Those are great memories!

mr. fab: Thanks! He was indeed, and I learned a lot from him.

ginnie: Thank you too! I have to say that the experience that Jacques had because of the death of his father, he was often talking about it with me. After his death, I realized that all he said to me about mourning, was a great help for me. Sometimes intentionaly, sometimes not, he was preparing me to his own death, and that is one of the reasons I passed through that tragedy with less difficulties. Isn't that a great way to tell me his love?

I know it's not very popular to talk about death, but it is a reality, just a reality. And ignoring that reality is not helping. For me, the death is a passage, and I believe there is something else after. There is many things I don't know, many things I don't understand, but one thing I am sure, is that talking about it is helping. That is why I believe it's important for me to talk about my experience as a testimony, and if it can help just a little, it really is worth it!

One of our greatest compositer, Félix Leclerc, said once in one of his song: "C'est grand la mort, c'est plein de vie dedans!", that means: "The Death is big, it's full of life inside!" :O)

Ginnie Hart a dit...

Clo, I just looked at that last photo again and you are radiant. And still are! Radiant in life and in death because there's so much life inside both for you. Thank you for sharing that.

Captain Eudoxia a dit...

What a lovely biographical entry.
It must have been such a shock for you.


BTW, you are absolutely gorgeous in that photo.

Clo a dit...

That photo was taken in 1988, it was my birthday, I was 29! I simply love that pic because we look so happy on it, and we were! :O)

Jozee a dit...

Beautifully expressed, Clo.
I love your vibrancy and perspective. Oxo, Josie

Clo a dit...

jo: Thanks! Oxo, :O)

jkirlin a dit...

A lovely tribute. He was blessed in his short life.

Clo a dit...

jkirlin: :O)

josep-manel a dit...

Clo I'm sorry, I think you must look for a translation.
Clo, esto que te ha sucedido a ti (a vosotros a Jacques, a vuestra hija y a tí) no le sucede a todo el mundo. Sois personas muy afortunadas. Aunque él no esté físicamnete contigo, está siempre ahí... sonriéndote, acariciándote, amándote... a tí y a vuestra hija.
No tienes derecho a estar triste, debes ser feliz por lo que viviste junto a él....eres una persona afortunada por todo el amor que tines.
Además, sólo es cuestión de tiempo... al final todos, todas nos encontraremos de nuevo con otra forma.... y haremos el blog-celestial-de-todos-los-blogs ;-DDDD
Besos desde Barcelona
dib ;-)

Clo a dit...

dib: !Gracias, muchas gracias!

Querido amigo, tus palabras están como la primavera, revivificando.

Te deseo toda la felicidad que desea. ¡Es un verdadero amigo! :O)))))

Besos desde Québec!

josep-manel a dit...

;-)

Anonyme a dit...
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